Kia ora
Here is my weekly writing called Adventures are the pits.
This week I want to show you my sick sentences, onomatopoeia and Dialogue that I am very proud of.
Here are my sick sentences:
The boy stood at the top of the slide.
Nervously, Tim gulped and stood at the top of the long slide.
He went down the tube.
As scared as a cat in water, Tim went down the tube regretting everything.
He had fun.
Although Tim hated slides he had great fun.
Here are my Onomatopoeia sentences:
Whoosh, went Tim sliding down the long slide as his face was in shock.
Zap, boom, pliter plater, goes the storm outside where no one is walking.
Plop! Tim dropped into the deep ball pit screaming his lungs out.
Last and not least here are my Dialogue:
“You got this,” yelled Ronald Tim’s dad.
“Okay,” replied Tim “AHHH!” screamed Tim as he zoomed down the slide that went forever.
“You did it,” chuckled Ronald, “see it wasn’t too bad,” and laughed.
“Woah,” said Tim, stunned.
Here is the image that I am writing about:
Is there anything that I could do to make my writing better?